A psychologist offers advice for parents who are feeling emotional as their children leave for college.
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CLEVELAND - If your child is heading off to college this fall, you’re probably feeling all kinds of emotions like sadness, excitement and anxiety.
And as Adam Borland, PsyD, psychologist for Cleveland Clinic tells us, that’s to be expected – especially if it’s their first time leaving home.
“This is a very common experience, especially this time of year when families are starting to get their children prepared for college,” said Dr. Borland. “This is difficult because a large part of one's identity is often defined by their role as a parent, and suddenly there's this recognition that a significant change is about to occur.”
Dr. Borland said this kind of experience is so common, there’s actually a nickname for it: ‘empty nest syndrome.’
So, what can you do to cope with empty nest syndrome?
He said to start, it’s important for parents to acknowledge their feelings and realize that what they’re going through is normal, and to remember they’re still parents at the end of the day.
That role isn’t going away just because their child is moving away.
It can also help to have open communication with your child and let them know you’re having a hard time, but don’t go overboard.
You don’t want them to feel like they have to manage your emotions.
“This is a big step for the soon-to-be college student. They're likely dealing with their own anxiety and stress and fear, and the last thing they need is to also feel as though I'm carrying the weight of my parents' sadness for me leaving,” said Dr. Borland. “So, I think it's really about finding a balance between open communication, but then also the parent processing their own feelings separate from their child.”
He adds that parents should look at the positives of their child going away to college.
For example, they now have the chance to pick up an old hobby or start a new one, spend more time with friends or reconnect with their partner.