Dealing with Pressure for Perfection on Valentine’s Day

CLEVELAND - Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. 

Like any holiday, there can be pressure to make it perfect – especially when you see how other couples celebrate on social media. 

“I think it’s common for people to compare themselves and think that they’re missing out or looking at someone else’s relationship or life and think they know what is happening. But with social media, people only put the good things that are happening. So, a lot of times, people don’t put the other stuff that happens behind the scenes,” said Kia-Rai Prewitt, PhD, psychologist at Cleveland Clinic.

Dr. Prewitt said it’s also important to remember that everyone is going to celebrate Valentine’s Day differently. 

Some couples may enjoy big displays of love, while others may prefer to do something more private. 

She said it could be a good idea to talk to your partner about their love language, which includes acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, giving gifts and quality time. 

She said knowing that information can help make the day more special. 

Even if the day doesn’t go as planned, that’s okay. 

It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. 

“I think that's why it's so important to not just celebrate the love you have for someone on Valentine's Day. It’s important to really show affection and appreciation throughout the year. So then, that way, you build up some credits,” she said. “If it gets to Valentine's Day, and you're just not feeling it for whatever reason, or it is a bad day, at least the other person knows this is just one day. The other 364 days of the year this person always shows me how much they love and care about me,” she said.

Dr. Prewitt said Valentine’s Day can also become easier to navigate as you get to know your partner. 

She finds that newer couples tend to put more pressure on the day.